Today is a review of the Movie: Aftermath. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it is based on a true, real life story. The story of a man who has his family torn apart by a freak plane crash. An Air traffic controller is doing two jobs at once and doesnt realise one plane is going straight into the path of another he has given co-ordinates to. This results in two planes colliding and there being no survivors.
The main character, Roman goes to the airport expecting to see his wife and pregnant daughter, instead he is met by airport staff and ushered into a back room. He soon learns of the accident and goes home alone to grieve. The acting is very well done and all of my sympathy was with Roman who has just lost his whole family and just wants to hear someone say "sorry"
The second "main" character is Jake Bonaos. He is the air traffic controller who is somewhat at blame here. He has his world blown apart by the grief of knowing he caused a terrible accident and this leaves him emotional and isolated. He can no longer do his job and his wife and child leave him. He is relocated, under a new identity to a new city and begins a new life.
Roman however, is still grieving and awaiting an apology from anyone at the airport. He doesnt get one so sets about finding Bonaos, who in Romans eyes is solely responsible as he directed those two planes.
One year later, a journalist is hovering around Roman and Bonaos, so Roman uses her help in finding Bonaos. He wants an apology. She reluctantly gives him the address he needs. She isnt sure if it is the right thing to do but Roman assures her that he just wants an apology from the man.
Roman sets of to Bonaos, who is having his estranged wife and child to stay for a weekend.
Roman finds the apartment and rings the doorbell but Bonaos' wife Christina answers, and Roman disappears. Later he sits in his hotel room and decides to go back, this time the right person answers.
Bonaos freaks out and argues with Roman, telling him he is crazy for coming after him. All Roman wanted was an apology. Instead the man he see's as responsible for his losses, pushes him away and calls him crazy. This tips Roman over the edge and he attackes and stabs Bonaos. Once he has finished he sits in a daze next to the now dead mans wife and child, hallucinating that they are his wife and child.
Roman goes to jail for 10 years for the murder and once released he goes to visit his familys grave.
He is followed by a young man who asks for directions. This turns out to be Bonaos's son, who is now grown up and holding a loaded gun. Roman accepts that he (Samuel, the son) has to kill him (Roman) to "fix" things.
However, Samuel cant bring himself to murder someone, not even his own fathers killer. He tells Roman "no, it wasnt what I was taught" and leaves Roman alone in the cemetery.
Overall I really enjoyed the movie. I felt more for Roman, he lost his whole family and just wanted to hear someone apologise to him for the accident. I can see how he flipped and attacked the man he saw as responsible. I dont think Bonaos was soley responsible though. He couldnt have been expected to be in sole charge that night and he couldnt have been focused enough with being alone to control all those flights. I would watch this again if I had the chance as it was a good, emotional thriller
Sunday 23 April 2017
Monday 3 April 2017
My 1st Child Birth Story
I was 19 when I fell pregnant with Leo. Very young yes, I do sometimes wish Id waited until I had a good stable job and my own home but I wouldnt change him or my life for anything.
My pregnancy went by fine, no issues or complications. I put on around 2.5st with him so an average amount. I lived with my in laws at that time in a double bedroom crammed with 2 peoples things, soon to be 3! So it was stressful at times, not having my own home.
Anyway, 25th of april at 9pm Gary went downstairs to take a phone call. At around 9:15pm I was sat in bed and felt a pop. Yes felt the pop of my waters. I sat further forwards and it gussed out, It was like a river, I couldnt believe how much water I had!
So, I got up and grabbed some towels and made a make shift nappy until Gary got back. I sorted myself out and headed to the midwife centre. In hindsight I didnt need to go in, but being a young first time mum I did anyway. I was checked and yep it was my waters. So I was sent off home to wait for contractions to start. Around 11-12pm they kicked in. I was so uncomfortable that I kept phoning my midwife and at 1am I begged to come in. I got there at 3cm dilated and was admitted for some gas and air. Things were steady and kept going until around 3-4am when the labour really kicked in.I had a "land birth" so on the bed and was on my knees facing the headboard from then on. I remember looking at the clock around 3-4am then when I looked back up it was 6am and I needed to push. The gas and air makes me very woozy and drunk like!
At 6:30am Leo was born. 7lbs 11oz of yellow chunk. He was a little jaundiced at first but after a few days he was a normal pink baby. He failed at breastfeeding as he wouldnt latch and rejected the breast so onto Cow and Gate it was. He was a good baby, was a little colicky but not as bad as some babies. He slept well and was a great first baby. I was 20 years old when he was born and it was lovely to have this little person to care for and be a mummy to. When he was 4 weeks old we moved into our own house. A housing association home which at this moment me and three kids have outgrown its 2 bedrooms and small open plan downstairs,
He is now soon to turn 6 years old and I cant believe he used to be a tiny baby. I still see him as my first baby boy and I do have a soft spot for him because of it. I dont favour any of my children but the first is always special!
Sunday 2 April 2017
A mother losing a mother
Todays blog post is the topic of losing a parent. I have been "a mum without a mum" for almost 2 years (where did that time go!!) so thought I would write up a post to offer advice or just a little insight into what I have dealt with.
Me and my mum had a strange relationship. She wasnt the best mum but wasnt the worst. She had various mental health issues that she never addressed and really did not like me. I was the one to blame for all her bad times even if I wasnt there when they happened. I would get the beatings and rough words because she "couldnt deal with me" I wasnt a devil child, just a normal child who's mum couldnt cope on her own for many reasons.
I have a younger half brother who is 5 years younger then me, who was the golden child. If you watch Bates Motel, she was Norma and he was Norman. Very close, sometimes concerning as remarked by social workers and she would baby him for years.
I lost contact with her in 2011 when I was heavily pregnant with my first child and didnt see her again until 2015.
One day I was in my local town, in Wilko and saw her in the paint aisle. I said hello and had a little chat. At that point I was still pregnant with the baby we went onto miscarry. That was in January 2015. I didnt see her again until the summer.
She seemed interested in keeping in contact but in September she had an accident and sadly died. She had epilepsy and due to a very stressful home life with my brother who was mean and demanding to her, she was stressed and ill alot in the run up to her death. She fell down the stairs one night and never woke up. She was on life support to help her breath and once that was taken away at 3am, it took another 12 or so hours for her heart to stop. I had a mad rush to Southmead Hospital who were amazing. I live in wiltshire so had to take children via bus to their grandparents. Then get a train then a 45min bus to the hospital, so I was on the go 8am-1pm travelling. It wasnt nice when I saw her. She looked empty with her breathing tubes and hospital gown. I had seem her in hospital unconscious so many times before due to her epilepsy but this was different. Her brain had too much swelling so she wasnt going to wake up. I left to go home around 4pm and a few days later I was back to visit her in the Chapel of Rest. I had my amazing uncle with me, who has been like a mother/father in one amazing role. When I saw her, it wasnt her. She was in a lovely white full length nightgown and had freshly washed and dried hair. I could just sense she wasnt there and she had really gone. Its a very weird feeling seeing someone who has died. You know the person but its not them. The soul and what makes them that person has gone and there is just an empty shell. I left after just a few minutes and went on to make the funeral arrangements. Now im a young, stay at home mum to two at this point. I had no money to my name so I was in a rush to have her accounts signed over to me so her estate could pay for her very basic cremation. I remember a lovely lady in her bank pushing me to tears refusing to listen that I had all the documents I needed and I had to have them at least sign a promise to pay ASAP or the cremation was cancelled. An emergency loan from the kids dad solved that stress until all the paperwork was sorted at her banks.
The funeral was vary basic. Cremation and 3 songs. The Carpenters which were have favourites. Me and the kids dad were the only people to attend as my brother refused and no other family could make it. I always think how sad this was that she only had two people attend.
Now it is almost 2 years past and I have a beautiful urn with her ashes in and a lovely scatter tube for if I ever choose to scatter some of her ashes. Im not sure if I ever will but the option is there. I do sometimes talk to "her" and have a chate about life. In July 2016 I welcomed a baby girl, who was conceived when mum passed. To me she is my gift from mum.Mum said I would have another and I should have a girl and she was right. I am still so sad she hasnt been able to meet her grand daughter but Im sure a part of her is inside my girl x
Me and my mum had a strange relationship. She wasnt the best mum but wasnt the worst. She had various mental health issues that she never addressed and really did not like me. I was the one to blame for all her bad times even if I wasnt there when they happened. I would get the beatings and rough words because she "couldnt deal with me" I wasnt a devil child, just a normal child who's mum couldnt cope on her own for many reasons.
I have a younger half brother who is 5 years younger then me, who was the golden child. If you watch Bates Motel, she was Norma and he was Norman. Very close, sometimes concerning as remarked by social workers and she would baby him for years.
I lost contact with her in 2011 when I was heavily pregnant with my first child and didnt see her again until 2015.
One day I was in my local town, in Wilko and saw her in the paint aisle. I said hello and had a little chat. At that point I was still pregnant with the baby we went onto miscarry. That was in January 2015. I didnt see her again until the summer.
She seemed interested in keeping in contact but in September she had an accident and sadly died. She had epilepsy and due to a very stressful home life with my brother who was mean and demanding to her, she was stressed and ill alot in the run up to her death. She fell down the stairs one night and never woke up. She was on life support to help her breath and once that was taken away at 3am, it took another 12 or so hours for her heart to stop. I had a mad rush to Southmead Hospital who were amazing. I live in wiltshire so had to take children via bus to their grandparents. Then get a train then a 45min bus to the hospital, so I was on the go 8am-1pm travelling. It wasnt nice when I saw her. She looked empty with her breathing tubes and hospital gown. I had seem her in hospital unconscious so many times before due to her epilepsy but this was different. Her brain had too much swelling so she wasnt going to wake up. I left to go home around 4pm and a few days later I was back to visit her in the Chapel of Rest. I had my amazing uncle with me, who has been like a mother/father in one amazing role. When I saw her, it wasnt her. She was in a lovely white full length nightgown and had freshly washed and dried hair. I could just sense she wasnt there and she had really gone. Its a very weird feeling seeing someone who has died. You know the person but its not them. The soul and what makes them that person has gone and there is just an empty shell. I left after just a few minutes and went on to make the funeral arrangements. Now im a young, stay at home mum to two at this point. I had no money to my name so I was in a rush to have her accounts signed over to me so her estate could pay for her very basic cremation. I remember a lovely lady in her bank pushing me to tears refusing to listen that I had all the documents I needed and I had to have them at least sign a promise to pay ASAP or the cremation was cancelled. An emergency loan from the kids dad solved that stress until all the paperwork was sorted at her banks.
The funeral was vary basic. Cremation and 3 songs. The Carpenters which were have favourites. Me and the kids dad were the only people to attend as my brother refused and no other family could make it. I always think how sad this was that she only had two people attend.
Now it is almost 2 years past and I have a beautiful urn with her ashes in and a lovely scatter tube for if I ever choose to scatter some of her ashes. Im not sure if I ever will but the option is there. I do sometimes talk to "her" and have a chate about life. In July 2016 I welcomed a baby girl, who was conceived when mum passed. To me she is my gift from mum.Mum said I would have another and I should have a girl and she was right. I am still so sad she hasnt been able to meet her grand daughter but Im sure a part of her is inside my girl x
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